By Mark Cashman

Has anyone got a Maltese grandparent and wants to play Test rugby? It could be your lucky day.

Malta are currently looking for Australian based players with Maltese heritage to play Test rugby and help Malta push up the Rugby Europe Rankings.

Former Gordon assistant coach Mark DeBrincat played a number of Tests for Malta at the backend of his playing days and is on the look out for players on this side of the globe to get involved.

“Back in 2002, I saw an ad in Rugby News calling for players with Maltese heritage to go over and play for the country,” Debrincat told this column.

“My grandfather was born in Malta and came to Australia when he was 8-years old.

“I sent an email and they got back to me and said if I could get over there and play a club game, then I’d be a good chance of getting picked to play against Bulgaria a few weeks later.”

Malta won two matches against Cyprus earlier this year and have a number of Tests scheduled in 2024 and 2025.

“It’s probably about a third or fourth grade Shute Shield standard or maybe first or second grade Kentwell Cup with a few good, experienced players and a few older guys thrown in around that.

“I’ve actually heard Sean McMahon’s mother is from Malta, so we’d love to get a hold of him one day.

“If Joe Schmidt isn’t giving you a call up, maybe this is your best route to playing Test rugby.”

Work is being done to help subsidise players travel costs to Malta and DeBrincat said you’ll barely need your wallet once you land in the Mediterranean.

If you’d like to get involved, shoot through an email to markdebrincat@hotmail.com 

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I’ve always enjoyed the gags and lines of logic that Manly Marlins evergreen hooker James Hilterbrand throws out there occasionally on social media and his take on the great Shute Shield points system was . . . as you’d expect.

‘Cecil’ argued that a points system should also apply to the boat race that club’s field at the after-match function.

“You can’t field 4 professional drinkers to win the boat race – it’s not fair,” Hilterbrand reasoned.

To which West Harbour coach Cameron Treloar replied: “Just because we’re undefeated in the boat race, doesn’t mean we’re above cap Cecil. #practicemakesperfect”

The Marlins hooker Aaron Blacklock weighed in: “Imagine 4 x Cameron Signorini. It’s just not cricket.”

In my day the Tracey brothers at Norths were handy at boat race time but I’d like to meet this Cameron Signori one day!

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While we’re on the great player points controversy there a very thorough explanation of the system and how we have arrived at where we have arrived on the Shute Cast podcast this week.

Host Anthony Bergelin explained in full how the system operates along with fellow podcast mates Andrew Swain and your humble Around The Traps columnist.

Their feeling was that the whole Easts matter didn’t pass the “pub test” and from what I am hearing this whole affair will continue to rumble on.

The Shute Shield has always been very tribal but I can see the mud throwers saying that if the Beasties win their first title since 1969 it will be tainted.

There’s a lot more of this saga to play out.

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Woodies outside back Nick O’Connor has had a stellar career at TG Miller and he celebrated that last weekend when he ran in his 150th try.

The milestone meat pie was notched in a 29-14 win over Northern Suburbs in third grade and the win keeps the Woods in the race to qualify for the six-team finals series.

O’Connor started at the Woods way back in 2012 and has played up and down the grades in the 12 years since but all the time crossing the try line on a regular basis.

He has four tries so far this season in thirds and may well set his sights on the double ton.

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We wrote last week about the honour bestowed on Warringah man Greg Gerrard for his services to schoolboy rugby.

Gerrard very kindly sent Around the Traps a note – no not one of those hand written ones that Alan Jones used to do – to thank this column for the plug.

“The first time that I made an appearance in Rugby News would have been in a North Sydney High Old Boys Grand Final team list in Clark or Jeffery Cup circa 1980,” Gerrard texted.

“It’s been a long time between drinks and I’m not anticipating a third mention any time soon.”

Well Mr Gerrard number three has arrived!

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DAVE Feltscheer never did things by halves when he was the most exciting fullback in the Shute Shield wearing the No.15 Rats’ jumper.

That continues to be the case as he and his wife Kathleen are expecting twins in December. That will be a big Christmas present for their 19-month-old son Xander – two new siblings.

“It was excited shock,” Feltsh said when he heard the news. “There is a chance if they do come early that we’ll have three kids under two. It is going to be challenging times but we are pumped.”

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I’ve used the journalistic services of Matt Cleary in my Wallabies Digital Match Programs over the years and he always comes up with the good oil on many of the Aussie national team’s stars.

Cleary is a Canberra man through and through – he even says that he enjoys the icy weather down there at this time of the year – and has penned a magnificent history of the Canberra Royals rugby club.

It’s called Blue Bloods: The 75-year history of Canberra Royals Rugby Union Football Club and it all started when Canberra Norths third grade were told they had to buy their own jumpers.

Championed by their irascible coach, Jack Waters, who’d come to Canberra from the bush by way of Waverley and Randwick – and who remained a bachelor and fanatically dedicated to rugby – the team split from Norths, decided on blue and white as colours, and called themselves ‘Royals’.

What followed was 75 years of fun, running rugby and the pursuit of excellence, as Royals set records for premierships, created a flourishing junior nursery, and produced scores of players who represented the ACT and Australia.

At their peak in the late 1980s and early 1990s, Royals was among the most powerful clubs in Australia, knocking off Shute Shield sides Eastern Suburbs and Randwick, Paris University and Argentine side Tucuman, and going close to upsetting touring provincial club, Cardiff.

In 1988, the ACT team featured 14 Royals’ players in its starting line-up. It didn’t stop the coach, Kim Thurbon, from ringing selectors to query why Royals captain and No.7, Michael Roche, wasn’t included.

In 1992, the women’s team arrived and won three straight Sydney competitions before effectively creating the local one. Royals has since produced more Wallaroos (18) than any club in the land.

Four Royals women – Louise Ferris, Helen Taylor, Sharni Smale and Millie Boyle – have captained Australia.

Grace Kemp played for the Wallaroos and following stirring performances for the NSW Blues in State of Origin, appears certain to be Royals’ next dual international.

The club’s most famous product is another dual international, Michael O’Connor, who aged 19 landed a last-minute field goal to win the 1979 grand final against Queanbeyan Whites.

Perhaps the most infamous Royals man is Geoff ‘The Duke’ Didier, who was a Wallabies tourist in 1990, set records for being marched by referees, and who was sent off, along with his son, Duke, in his last game of rugby.

To grab a copy check out www.royalsrugby.com